20 April 2006

Hi jinks, Fun, and excitement while ashore part 4

Last time on the new hit blog "Southern Air Pirate's Haze Gray Thoughts ", we saw Southern and his crew come to Miami and deal with an expiration of liberty, meet some interesting girls in a boat before the sheriff broke them up, Be a tour guide on USS Old Ship, Now for the final part of "Hi jinks, Fun, and excitement while ashore".

So as I said last time, I have a family member whose father owned a club down here in Miami. After talking to my cousin's wife she gave me the address to her father's club and the number to his home. So around lunch time I called him first at his house, thinking of inviting him out to the ship and show him around and probably enjoy lunch. Didn't get an answer there, so I tried the club. After getting a secretary and fighting to try and get through her to talk to this gentleman for about 15mins. I finally was able to get through and talk to him. He said that he couldn't do lunch since he was meeting with members of the Chamber of Commerce and screening a few new DJ's for his club. So it was going to be a working lunch. However, he told me that it was free for me and some of my friends to get in that night at the club if I wanted to. All I had to due was walk up to the bouncer and say that Mr. Big was my friend and I could get in.
So after spending a great day at a beach side restaurant and bar watching the U of Miami vs FSU game and watching the girls in bikini's or short-shorts. We all pile into a cab and head over to this club. It was over near Miami Beach and actual had an entrance that sat on the beach along with one that was street side. The place was really moving and grooving. It also had the standard Hollywood cliched entrance set up. That is the long velvet rope, large muscle bound bouncer, people waiting to get in; you get the idea right? So I took it all in for a few moments, now I came from a small town that had a college in it where even the most happening place was just a little college bar that has some disco lights and a DJ. Nothing too exciting. Here I am with about 5 of my close friends getting ready to step into the serious big leagues. Then I also notice the typical clothing that the people were wearing and I realized that all of us were seriously under dressed. Most of those people waiting to get in were wearing some bordering on "Miami Vice" wear up to some very upscale Brooks Brothers gear. Most of us were in a simple polo shirt and either blue jeans or some slacks.
A couple of my friends wanted to back down, so did I to a point, yet at the same time this man gave me this offer and I didn't know when I would be back in to the Miami area. So I walked from where the cab dropped us across the street to the entrance. I walked up to the the bouncer, who looked like a very bad cross of Randy the Macho Man Savage and Peyton Manning. If you can't imagine this, think of a person with Peyton's face but with the muscles of Randy "The Macho Man". This bouncer just didn't seem to have that look to scare anyone.
Anyhow, I walk up to this joker and first thing out of his mouth is to me is; "What the F---- are you doing! You need to leave."
Upon which I turned on the charm and proceeded to tell him that I was here to speak with Mr. Big and if he would be so kind as to take the phone on his little podium and make a call.
He then told me to do something, that I really consider to be a physical impossibility.
Most of my friends told me to back down and just leave the asshole alone to pretend he is big and bad; that I should just leave him alone with his "Road house" fantasy.
I said again in a very nice tone if I could borrow his phone so that I could call a cab. At which the joker agreed, however he let me dial (moron!). So I dialed my friend in the club and told him what was up. After the bouncer heard me start to drop names he tried to grab the phone from me. My friend put a call over their radio that the bouncer was to let me and anyone else in my party in, and oh stop by the ticket booth and collect his last pay check.
So the floor manager for the club came out and escorted us in, all the time making apologies. I stated I was cool with the whole experience. My best friend from work, Jason stated that he had been thrown out of worst clubs before and in general the rest of the guys I was with though annoyed were cool with it and amazed once we got out to our table. Which was a semi-private booth in a corner close to the dance floor. On top of that there were a number of very stunning girls in this place.
We found out that is was a place where you paid 10-15 dollars to get in the door and had a table for the night, then it was close to 60-80 dollars for the drinks. What they did was the table had the basic drink mixing set and they would bring you a bottle or two and enough glasses so you could make some basic drinks. That was if you paid to sit at a table. The other way this place made cash was with just having people pay a 5-8 dollar cover and they could order drinks from the bar tenders or waitress's. Overall, we all looked at each other and realized that we were going to be paying through the nose for some serious drinking.
As we sat around taking the whole place in, my family friend showed up and introduced himself around to everyone. He also told us that drinks were on the house for us, all we had to do was show our military IDs to the waitress's or bar tenders.
So it was like that after a while we adjusted to everything. Got to meet the people the next table over from us, dance on the floor. In general have a great time.
That was about midnight, the next table over from us had some very nice looking girls and a couple male companions all sitting there drinking. Most of us were taking these 4 girls and trying to figure out how to separate them from their dates. It was my friend Jason, who took the initiative mainly cause he was half in the bag, so he just got up from our table and walked over to these girls and started to make small talk. Now Jason is 6ft and weighed in around 220-250 even and had a build of a football player and was one of those types of guys would could get any girl he talked to after about 5-10 minutes, he also never meet a fight that he didn't like. Anyhow, the guys these girls were with had the look of annoyance on their face. So the rest of us walked up to stand behind Jason. Cause you can't let a shipmate down nor get into a fight alone.
As the conversation progressed and the girls were starting to leave their dates and start for our table. One of the guys answered up with this statement and it basically lead to us leaving a lot earlier then we all planned, "You don't have the balls to try and steal my girl friend from me."
Jason answered up with this action and statement, he dropped his jeans and skivvies and said "Why I do believe I have the balls joker and am probably more of a man then your tiny manhood could ever be for these girls"

I don't know if any of you fine readers out there have ever been in a moment were it seemed all time stopped and your little Jimmy Cricket answered up that some quick phrase about your life. However, the minute that happened it did seem as though time stopped, my Jimmy Cricket told me that I was going to jail and that I should grab my friends and run. However it was worst then that, all the music seemed to stop everyone in this club looked at us, 4 sailors dressed like average joes and one with his pants around his ankles screaming for everyone to look at his manhood. At which, I said "Check please." told the rest of the guys to get Jason dressed and into a cab ready to roll to the boat, I would be right behind. It was a quick run to the door, with Jason screaming his phone number to the girls and that he could take on their boyfriends.
I asked the floor manager to take me up to Mr. Big's office. I was absolutely mortified and scared. I walked into a place that had a small window that looked over the place and cameras watching everything else along with a radio repeater from the bouncers radio system. I came in ready to apologize and faced a high back chair looking at the window. I started to make my apologies, when my friend answered up that he in 25yrs of running various clubs and hotels never had seen anything like that. I started again to make my apologies when he spun around and was laughing like a hyena. He told me that it was great to have a few guys like us to shake some of these stuff shirts up for a while. It did them good, he gave me a card and told me if I was ever in the area again to drop on by any time to say hi or stay and enjoy the club again. I bounded down to the door, got in the cab and went back to the ship. Still wondering if the police were waiting for me at fleet landing to arrest us for being public nuisances.
We made it back to the boat with about an hour and a half to spare till it was time to come in. Most of the rest of the guys wanted to stay out, I told them I had enough fun and excitement for the night. So I staggered on board, grabbed a soda from the geedunk machines near my shop. Went in watched some TV as thought about the night. After firing off an email to my new friend again apologizing for the incident and asking if he was free for breakfast in the morning, I staggered off to bed.

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